ADHD - Child - Father

Investigating the Father-Child Relationship

Mothers often comment that their child with ADHD behaves better with his/her father. Children with ADHD do tend to be less negative and more likely to stay on task when with their fathers rather than with their mothers. The cause of this interaction is unclear but may be due to a few explanations.
Oftentimes, the mother stays at home more than the father, resulting in the mother assuming the role of disciplinarian. Of course the child will have a more stressed relationship with the disciplinarian of the household. Another explanation resides in the manner in which males and females communicate disapproval. Mothers are more likely to express disapproval of her child’s actions through verbal explanations, which may not resonate with children whose ADHD limits their language skills.  Fathers, on the other hand, are more apt to express disapproval with immediate punishment and fewer verbal explanations, which may lead to better parent-child compliance. Also, the typically larger and more imposing size of the father may elicit better behavior from a child.
Due to this difference in behavior, many fathers believe that the mothers have a problem with disciplining the child as apposed to the child having disciplinary problems. Usually, if the father begins to take responsibility for the daily management of the child, the family begins to realize that the issue of noncompliance is not directed toward one specific parent or gender.

Contact Dr. Gordon for help with your ADHD. We have treatment and solutions available online, by phone, and in our offices.

written by:
 Brianna Malinowski, 
Jay Gordon, Ph.D

Barkley, R. A. (2013). Taking Charge of ADHD: The Complete, Authoritative Guide for Parents. New York, NY: Guilford Publications.
Image retrieved from: http://cliparts.co/father-and-child-images on Sept. 9, 2015

adhd diagnosis

“Growing Out” of ADHD?

About 10-15% of children with ADHD continue to have ADHD as an adult. Previously, it was believed that most of these children “grow out” of ADHD as their brains further develop into adulthood. As adults, these people who used to have ADHD no longer meet the criteria for adult ADHD.
New research finds that, although adults who had ADHD as children no longer have symptoms that meet the criteria for ADHD, they still have differences in brain structure. A study examined the memory function and brain size of 20-24 year olds who had been diagnosed with ADHD by the age of 16. Some of these participants still experienced symptoms of ADHD, while some were free from symptoms. Even those participants who no longer met the criteria for ADHD had lower brain volume and poorer memory function than a control group of young adults who had never received an ADHD diagnosis.
This study suggests that a diagnosis of ADHD may go beyond the criteria listed in the DSM-V. Even when a person has “grown out” of ADHD and does not have readily noticeable symptoms, ADHD may affect various cognitive functions and memory. The extent to which lower memory functioning affects the lives of those who have (or had) ADHD is still in question and is next for researchers to tackle.

Contact Dr. Gordon for help with your ADHD. We have treatment and solutions available online, by phone, and in our offices.

written by:
 Brianna Malinowski, 
Jay Gordon, Ph.D

Differences in brain structure and memory suggest adolescents may not ‘grow out of’ ADHD | University of Cambridge. (2015, August 27). Retrieved from http://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/differences-in-brain-structure-and-memory-suggest-adolescents-may-not-grow-out-of-adhd on 3 September 2015.

Photo retrieved from: http://www.clipartbest.com/cliparts/4ib/KLp/4ibKLpebT.svg on 4 Sept. 2015.

children with ADHD

Talking to the Teacher

School is overwhelming with distractions for children with ADHD. Your child’s teacher is most likely not specially trained in assisting children with ADHD. Here are some ideas that you, as a parent, can communicate to your child’s teacher in order to help them succeed:

  1. Ask the teacher for an extra set of textbooks to be kept at home. Despite effort to remember, many distractible students forget to bring home their proper materials.
  2. Encourage the teacher to seat your child near the front and center of the classroom. This should not be done in an embarrassing or punishing way. Instead, seat him/her in the front using a “random” seat assignment. This way, there are not many students in front of the child to distract him/her.
  3. Communicate your child’s strengths to the teacher. If your child learns better by creating mnemonics or rhymes or by visual learning, the teacher may be able to tweak the lesson to help.
  4. Ask for extra feedback on your child’s behavior. Feedback should be given to the student and to the parent via email or take-home messages. Remind the teacher that children with ADHD especially need to celebrate their progress often.
  5. Tell the teacher that directions should be repeated and written for your child. Oftentimes, when the directions are stated once, they go in one ear and out the other. Repeating gives your child a second chance to catch the directions. Writing directions on the board or assignment gives your child the opportunity to look back at the directions as much as needed.
  6. Encourage the teacher to ask you for help! Express to the teacher that you realize that he or she is not an expert on ADHD. The teacher may have questions for you or for your child about what he or she can do to help. Also, if a school psychologist or guidance counselor is available, remind the teacher that help can be obtained from these resources as well.
  7. Ask if your child can share notes with another student. Taking notes quickly is difficult for students with ADHD. By sharing notes, your child can get the information that he/she missed during class.
  8. Ask for extra time on tests and quizzes. Even if your child does not meet the legal criteria for receiving extra time, the teacher may be willing to provide it regardless.
  9. Ask the teacher to set up a buddy system in which each student has a few phone numbers of classmates in the case of forgotten homework assignments.

Remember that the more you help the teacher understand your child, the more he/she can help your child!
Contact Dr. Gordon for help with your ADHD. We have treatment and solutions available online, by phone, and in our offices.

written by:
 Brianna Malinowski, 
Jay Gordon, Ph.D

Bernstein, J. (2007). 10 days to a less distracted child: The breakthrough program that gets your kids to listen, learn, focus, and behave. New York: Marlowe & Company.

Photo retrieved from: http://www.longislandeyedoctor.com/2014/04/vision-therapy-kids-failing-school/ on Aug. 24, 2015

parenting tips -adhd coaching

Consequences of an Overreacting Parent

Do you overreact to your child with ADHD?

  • Yelling at your child
  • Mocking or embarrassing your child
  • Giving harsh or sudden punishments
  • Ignoring your child
  • Lecturing your child
  • Telling your child that he/she will not succeed in life
  • Calling your child names (brat, pest, etc.)

If you do any of the above, you may be overreacting to your child’s behavior. This does not mean that you are the cause of his/her behavior or that your parenting is bad; however, it may mean that you are setting your child up for underachievement.

Effects of Overreacting:

Overreacting makes your child feel hopeless. Children who are highly distractible do not improve their behavior when they feel pressure from their parents. Feeling hopeless also leads to lack of motivation. Children may not understand the concept of “hopelessness” and may instead describe this feeling as being tired, bored, or mad. Overreacting can also make your child feel unloved. Children may think that you no longer believe in them or that you care more about the work they get done than about them. Of course, it is your love that is driving these overreactions, but a child does not view it this way. Reacting strongly can also teach your children to react strongly as well. If you misbehave as a parent, children notice this hypocrisy and learn to overreact as well.

Contact Dr. Gordon for help with your ADHD. We have treatment and solutions available online, by phone, and in our offices.

written by:
 Brianna Malinowski, 
Jay Gordon, Ph.D

Bernstein, J. (2007). 10 days to a less distracted child: The breakthrough program that gets your kids to listen, learn, focus, and behave. New York: Marlowe & Company.
Photo retrieved from: http://www.thestar.com/life/2013/08/19/being_controlled_by_husbands_anger_no_help_to_woman_fighting_cancer_ellie.html on Aug. 23, 2015

ADHD diagnosis

ADHD Coaching vs. ADHD Therapy

Coaching is used at Dr. Gordon’s office to help manage ADHD. ADHD Coaching is similar to therapy in many ways. Both are centered around having regular conversations and open-ended questions with the client. Both also support the client through a situation by utilizing the client’s strengths and providing a trusting partnership. However, there are some important differences between coaching and therapy.

Coaching

Therapy

Clients improve through goal-setting, actions, and gaining self-awareness. Clients improve through self-understanding, acceptance, and occasionally through goal-setting.
Works with clients whose mental health issues are under control. Works with clients in an attempt to better manage their mental health.
Focus is on issues beyond mental health Focus is on mental health
Does not make a diagnosis Diagnoses and treats
Works mainly with external issues (organization, time management) Works mainly with internal issues (emotions)

If a client desires coaching but does not have his/her mental health under control, it is recommended that he/she first seeks therapy. This is because the person may lack the psychological capacity to be successful with coaching.

Contact Dr. Gordon for help with your ADHD. We have treatment and solutions available online, by phone, and in our offices.

written by:
 Brianna Malinowski, 
Jay Gordon, Ph.D

Sleeper-Triplett, J. (2010). Empowering youth with ADHD: Your guide to coaching adolescents and young adults for coaches, parents, and professionals. Plantation, Fla: Specialty Press, Inc.